I came back from Boracay this afternoon and I don’t wanna go to bed without telling you that I had a good weekend and to post some pictures here. Uf! What a weekend!! Highlights… Well, you will see it in the pics, but mostly a much needed rest, various attempts to to relax and disconnect, new friends, good food, a wonderful sea, snorkling, the pleasure to see such a beautiful place and at the same time the sadness for the mass tourism and privatization (obviously, I was not the only traveller, Robinson Crusoe in the island…); oh! and a sunburnt back by a tricky and naughty tropical sun. Which makes me think now ¿How the hell am I going to put the after sun cream on my back?
I realized something this weekend. Well, I actually have been suspecting for quite a while, but it has definitely been confirmed in Boracay. I have either spent too much time in the US or I have much more in common with my father than I thought (or maybe both…). I can finally acknowledge publicly that I have some issues with the “Filipino way” of managing time. I am not going to tell you what such a way is about, especially since there are some Filipino and Filipino Americans reading me and I don’t want them to get pissed :) And again, I should humbly remind you that this blog is not about Filipinos but about Me in the Philippines. What I realized this weekend is that, if there is a problem here, it is NOT THEIR problem but rather MINE!!! Shit, the parameter with I spent the whole weekend measuring everything happening around me was EFFICIENCY ¿How long are we going to spend trying to find a hotel? ¿How long are we going to be in the boat? ¿Do we have time to swim in the morning? ¿How do we coordinate massages (!???) in order to be done earlier?
I think, I honestly think, that there were moments during the weekend when some more efficiency would have made our lives easier, but the point here is that my pase had nothing to do with the context where I was. It had nothing to do with the pase of the people I was travelling with, and it had definitely nothing to do with the pase of the place where I was. And, I don’t know, that makes me think… One, about how stressed I’ve been during these past few years of graduate school (and especially the past few months). And two, about how time is perceived and lived differently in different places. For me life, both individual and collective, moves forward given the existence of a set of norms which, if followed in a relatively strict way, allow things to happen in a particular speed and frequency. Only respecting speed and frequency can we move forward. But I am becoming more and more convinced that in the Philippines (here as well as in many Filipino diasporas all over the world), this question is thought of and understood differently. The pase and the frequency are there, but they are controlled differently. In fact, they are often allowed to follow their own inertia, or not, or it depends, depends on the place, on the person, on the place…
What I am trying to say here is that I am in the process of deciding to stop compartimentalizing my days in rigid and urgent ways, and I need to be able to sit down, even if it's for just a minute, without stressing about what comes next. That if things are not done exactly how and when I thought they would be done the world does not end. And I thought that I was a mellow person… I used to be a mellow person… But the PhD, the US (maybe Spain is changing really fast, now that we are Europeans) and myself have gotten rid of that ability to take life easier and with tranquillity. Maybe it’s age, since I am going toward 31… In a nutshell, my friend Leo Bejarano already told me sometimes in Barcelona, and Jason did not tell me, but I could see it in his face… I need to take air, take a deep breath… My way to do things is not the only one and sometimes what matters is not at what time we get there but rather how we do so. It is so easy to say it, isn’t it? And it sounds so cliché. Well, and actually, now that I think about it, I have to get up in only few hours in order to start a hellish week…
I realized something this weekend. Well, I actually have been suspecting for quite a while, but it has definitely been confirmed in Boracay. I have either spent too much time in the US or I have much more in common with my father than I thought (or maybe both…). I can finally acknowledge publicly that I have some issues with the “Filipino way” of managing time. I am not going to tell you what such a way is about, especially since there are some Filipino and Filipino Americans reading me and I don’t want them to get pissed :) And again, I should humbly remind you that this blog is not about Filipinos but about Me in the Philippines. What I realized this weekend is that, if there is a problem here, it is NOT THEIR problem but rather MINE!!! Shit, the parameter with I spent the whole weekend measuring everything happening around me was EFFICIENCY ¿How long are we going to spend trying to find a hotel? ¿How long are we going to be in the boat? ¿Do we have time to swim in the morning? ¿How do we coordinate massages (!???) in order to be done earlier?
I think, I honestly think, that there were moments during the weekend when some more efficiency would have made our lives easier, but the point here is that my pase had nothing to do with the context where I was. It had nothing to do with the pase of the people I was travelling with, and it had definitely nothing to do with the pase of the place where I was. And, I don’t know, that makes me think… One, about how stressed I’ve been during these past few years of graduate school (and especially the past few months). And two, about how time is perceived and lived differently in different places. For me life, both individual and collective, moves forward given the existence of a set of norms which, if followed in a relatively strict way, allow things to happen in a particular speed and frequency. Only respecting speed and frequency can we move forward. But I am becoming more and more convinced that in the Philippines (here as well as in many Filipino diasporas all over the world), this question is thought of and understood differently. The pase and the frequency are there, but they are controlled differently. In fact, they are often allowed to follow their own inertia, or not, or it depends, depends on the place, on the person, on the place…
What I am trying to say here is that I am in the process of deciding to stop compartimentalizing my days in rigid and urgent ways, and I need to be able to sit down, even if it's for just a minute, without stressing about what comes next. That if things are not done exactly how and when I thought they would be done the world does not end. And I thought that I was a mellow person… I used to be a mellow person… But the PhD, the US (maybe Spain is changing really fast, now that we are Europeans) and myself have gotten rid of that ability to take life easier and with tranquillity. Maybe it’s age, since I am going toward 31… In a nutshell, my friend Leo Bejarano already told me sometimes in Barcelona, and Jason did not tell me, but I could see it in his face… I need to take air, take a deep breath… My way to do things is not the only one and sometimes what matters is not at what time we get there but rather how we do so. It is so easy to say it, isn’t it? And it sounds so cliché. Well, and actually, now that I think about it, I have to get up in only few hours in order to start a hellish week…
1 comentario:
Hola Sandra, a través de tus escritos y tus fotos, veo que tu viaje te ha ido muy bien.
Tus reflexiones, muy buenas para ponerlas en práctica y empezar a disfrutar de ellas tranquilamente.
Hija las fotos són preciosas, que arena tan blanca y que contrastes de cielo tan bonitos....
Cariño la semana llamada "infierno" ¿y si le das la vuelta y la llamas "cielo"? que te parece?..tópico..ó posible?.
Sandra, ponte el aftersum en tu espalda que tienes que lucirla pronto.
Sandra te dejo.
Un abrazo...muy fuerte...
La mama.
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